Ha! Good One
by LastRedAppleStanding
Summary: Emmett’s hunting, Rosalie’s bored and Alice can see the future. Put all three together and you make the perfect prank. Rosalie suddenly decides that she isn’t satisfied with her marriage anymore and does something about it. ONE SHOT!
1. The Prank

**Hiya, this may sound totally random but I was peeling the potatoes for our Sunday lunch when this BRILLIANT idea struck me. I dropped the potato mid- peel and started writing it down.**

**Summary:**** Emmett's hunting, Rosalie's bored and Alice can see the future. Put all three together and you make the perfect prank. Rosalie suddenly decides that she isn't satisfied with her marriage anymore and does something about it. Could this mean the end of their relationship? Or just the beginning?**

**ONE SHOT!**

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Rosalie POV

It was a normal Friday night and the boys had decided to go hunting, leaving me and Alice alone in the house. Esme and Carlisle had gone for a weekend trip to Isle Esme and Bella was tucked up in bed at her house. Life couldn't get any more boring. We had been sitting on the couch watching this petty chick flick when suddenly Alice screamed.

"Alice, what the hell is the matter with you?" I screamed back at her, but she wasn't listening. She was too busy jumping up and down, her head nearly hitting the ceiling from the bounce. Jesus, I don't know why we don't just pet name her Tigger.

I decided to rub my little joke in and started singing.

"The wonderful thing about Tiggers, Is Tiggers are wonderful things…" Alice started laughing and joined in. "Their tops are made out of rubber; their bottoms are made out of springs."

I got up on the couch and started bouncing with Alice.

"They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy. Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!" We screamed at the top of our lungs.

"But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers. Is I'm the only one!!" We were laughing uncontrollably by the last verse and both fell down clutching our sides. Once I could speak again I questioned her. "So Alice, What did you want to tell me anyways?" She screamed again and told me what she had seen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was searching the net interestingly and calmly when the boys walked through the door.

"JASPER!!" Alice screamed at her husband and walked into the kitchen together. There's no actual need for us to have a kitchen as we don't eat, but it's a great place to make out on. Especially with all of the utensils lying around. I can remember when Emmett…….. I stopped that thought right there. This was no time to be thinking about Emmett and kitchen utensils. This should be a time to be thinking about business. I caught Edward's eye from across the room and he smirked at me.

"Well, Rosalie. I was going to go over to Bella's but this, I don't wanna' miss." I shrugged back at him.

Emmett thought that it would be a good idea to show up then and barged through the door. With a big bouquet of flowers. Red Roses. Oh god, this is gonna make it harder than it should be. I definitely wanted to go through with it, but I don't want to hurt him. Alice ran back into the room and pinched me. "All…." I whined but she wasn't having it. "Do it!" she ordered and she ran back into the kitchen to Jasper.

I sighed and Emmett ran up to me, the roses covering his face. "ROSE, I MISSED YOU!! Look what I got for you babe." Awww… Well, here goes nothing. I thought to myself and put raw anger into my voice.

"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN!!" I screamed at him. He jumped about a mile and dropped the flowers, putting his hands up in surrender.

"Whoa, Rose, babe, what's the matter?" Poor, poor baby.

"EMMETT. I WANT A DIVORCE!"

To say that he was shocked would be an understatement. He was shocked, crushed and any other emotion you could fit onto your mind at once. I heard Jasper groan and run outside. Must be too much for him to cope. I also heard a little tinkling giggle from Alice.

Edward put on a shocked face and Alice ran into the room screaming. "WHAT?!?!" part of the façade. Emmet just stood there, speechless while I stood there furious.

"Baby, Wha… who…why? Don't you love me anymore?" He managed, no more than a whisper. Whoa I don't think I have ever heard Emmett whisper before and I've been with him for A LONG TIME. The guilt was slowly creeping through my veins, but I had to get it over with before I broke down.

"Emmy," I started off more calmly. "It's not that I don't love you anymore. You know I love you. I'm just not satisfied with my relationship with you anymore. So I'm going to move on. Sorry love."

The silence that followed was unnerving. I cringed back from the glare's I was getting and shrugged. I thought Emmett was going to fight with me. I thought Emmet was going to argue and scream at me. So you can say that I was a little surprised when he got down on his hands and knees and begged.

"Please Rose. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! I CAN'T LET YOU DO THIS. We can make this work. Don't worry. I will satisfy you every second of the day. I will dress up in fake police uniforms and buy a whip to make you happy. Anything! Just please, please don't leave me." Edward couldn't help but chuckle at that, properly thinking about Bella's dad. Chief of Police.

I wasn't chuckling however. All I wanted to do was cry. And I changed my plan right at the last minute.

"Do you love me Emmett?" I whispered.

"I love you with everything I am Rose, you know that. I even love you more than the Jeep." I cracked a smile at that one. He was finally dedicating his love to me, the good old fashioned way. And I couldn't be happier.

He saw me smiling and stood up. "Rosey…." He pleaded and I was lost. The way his voice said my name, with such love and passion totally undid my resolve. I smiled at him letting the emotions flood out of me, forgetting that anybody else was in the room. This was just me and him now.

"Show me you love me." I whispered.

He lunged at me and attacked me with his lips. I heard Edward laugh and excuse himself, saying that he was going to see Bella and I heard Alice run after Jasper. We were alone now. Totally alone.

The kiss was passionate and loving but with sadness, and I didn't like that one bit. "Em." I managed to break away but he just carried on. Moving down to my neck and biting. I groaned, but carried on regardless. "Em, I don't really want a…a…Ohh." Damn it Rosalie, concentrate! "I don't really want a divorce, silly." This stopped him cold and he looked at me with a fathomless expression.

"This was just a prank to get you to devote your undying love to me the old fashioned way." I smiled at him and he growled. Shit! He's verryyy angry. "Emmy, don't be mad. It was all Alice's idea. I didn't want anything to do with it. I promise." I kissed him again, harshly, so he could understand.

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_Flashback from three hours ago_

"_ALICE! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? I CAN'T DO THAT!"_

"_Yes you can, and you will" she insisted, completely sure of herself._

"_No I won't!" I argued stubbornly._

_Alice sighed. "Rose, you want this don't you? You want him to really tell you those things. I know you do. Because he has never told you anything like that to you the normal way, he usually seduces you and tells you at the same time."_

_I was giving in and she knew it._

"_But Alice, it's too mean. And what if he tries to kill us?"_

_She started laughing. "Ha! Rose, do you really think he will try and kill you? No. Because he loves you. Me on the other hand…."_

_I started laughing too. "Don't worry Alice. He will be in my bed before he even thinks of going there."_

"_That's the Rosalie we all know!" she giggled and high fived me._

_End of flashback_

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"I'm going to kill that stupid Pixie!!" He barked.

"Oh no you're not! Because you know that that's what I wanted to hear from you. Don't you. So, are you still willing to place dress up? I've always wanted to see you in a tight uniform?" I purred at him and he grinned.

"Only for you sweet pea." I growled at him and jumped onto him, straddling his hips while bring his fingers to my mouth and sucking on them.

His eyes glazed over and he groaned.

"Oh god Rosalie. I swear, you're gonna be the death of me."

And with that he zoomed up the stairs and locked the bedroom door.

Ah, Bliss.

**Looool. So I hoped you liked that. I know THAT WAS SO RANDOM! And also my first One Shot story. So don't be mean.x**

**Please review and tell me what you think x**

**Erin x**


	2. SEQUEL COMING SOON

Hi Everybody. I have decided that I am going to be doing

A sequel to this story because I'm really happy with how many

Reviews I have gotten over the past week.

4 Reviews

77 hits

And

3 favourites ALREADY!!

I will start writing the story soon but I haven't got a name for it yet. Once I have uploaded it

I will add it onto my profile and you will all know what it is.

I REALLY HOPE YOU WILL READ IT AND I AM SO HAPPY WITH HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE

READ IT ALREADY. I LOVE YOU ALL AND PLEASE READ MY OTHER STORIES

Erin x


	3. SEQUEL IS UP NOW!

Hiya!!!!!!

The sequel to this story is now up!

It is called "Never Stopped Loving You" and totally

Fluffy.

So, if you enjoyed this little one shot, go and read it

AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK BECAUSE I AM TERRIFIED.

Love Ya' loads

Erin

xx


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